Stoic quotes on friendship

Seneca returns to friendship again and again in the letters. Choose friends slowly and carefully, he says, then trust them completely; and be wary of friendships built only on usefulness.

  1. When friendship is settled, you must trust; before friendship is formed, you must pass judgment.

    Seneca · Letters 3.2Read passage

  2. For what purpose, then, do I make a man my friend? In order to have someone for whom I may die, whom I may follow into exile, against whose death I may stake my own life, and pay the pledge, too.

    Seneca · Letters 9.10Read passage

  3. These are the so-called ‘fair-weather’ friendships; one who is chosen for the sake of utility will be satisfactory only so long as he is useful.

    Seneca · Letters 9.9Read passage

  4. Regard him as loyal, and you will make him loyal.

    Seneca · Letters 3.3Read passage

  5. We should choose for our friends men who are, as far as possible, free from strong desires: for vices are contagious, and pass from a man to his neighbour, and injure those who touch them.

    Seneca · On Tranquillity of Mind 7Read passage

  6. A friend loves you, of course; but one who loves you is not in every case your friend.

    Seneca · Letters 35.1Read passage

  7. Poverty will keep for you your true and tried friends; you will be rid of the men who were not seeking you for yourself, but for something which you have.

    Seneca · Letters 20.7Read passage

  8. And which do you really prefer? Money, or a faithful and self-respecting friend?

    Epictetus · Enchiridion 24Read passage

  9. How closely flattery resembles friendship!

    Seneca · Letters 45.7Read passage

  10. Nothing is more disgraceful than a wolfish friendship [false friendship].

    Marcus Aurelius · Meditations 11.15Read passage

  11. A friend should be retained in the spirit; such a friend can never be absent.

    Seneca · Letters 55.11Read passage

  12. ‘What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself.’ That was indeed a great benefit; such a person can never be alone.

    Seneca · Letters 6.7Read passage

Looking for something more specific?

The Stoicism Now magazine · free monthly

The View from Above

Stoicism in depth, every month. Articles, primary sources, and practices you can use, free to read and print.

Latest issue: What is up to you · See inside